At times some brethren have adopted a concept of forgiveness which does not originate in Scripture. The idea is in the world and, at times, finds its way into the church. We should be very, very careful as to maintaining the proper definition of words as they relate to concepts that they represent.
When someone says, “I forgive you,” to a person who has committed sin against the now “forgiving” party without any sign of repentance or even remorse on the part of the sinner, what has happened? Let us raise the question, “Is it obligatory on Christians to forgive those who sin against us without the sinners’ repenting of what they did? Let us raise another question: “Is it even possible for a Christian to forgive someone who has sinned against him without that person’s repenting of that sin?
The reader likely recalls Peter’s question to Jesus: “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? until seven times?” (Matt. 18:21). If you continue to read the context, you see that the Lord, in effect, said to Peter that there is no limit as far as number is concerned. And then Jesus illustrated the necessity of his disciples forgiving their brethren from their hearts (v. 35) by likening the kingdom to a certain king who made a reckoning with his servants (v. 23). A ten thousand talent debtor was brought before the king who eventually released the debtor from his debt (v. 27). Without pursuing the other facts in the case, we conclude our comments on this text by simply saying that God wants to forgive us all, and he wants us to be willing and wanting to forgive all others (2 Pet. 3:9; 1 Tim. 2:4; John 3:16; Matt. 22:37-40).
But there is more to be said about forgiveness, and the Lord said it. Evidently Luke 17:1-4 is not often read and considered by many people including some brethren. Beginning in verse 3 we read, “Take heed to yourselves: if thy brother sin, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he sin against thee seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” My! This is quite generous, but NO MORE GENEROUS than I require from God himself! If I want God to continue to forgive me, then I must surely continue to forgive those who sin against me. However, the forgiveness required is based on the repentance declared! Any Christian, just as God himself, stands in a position of wanting to be able to forgive. But this psychological state is not what forgiveness is. The Lord’s people are always to be ready and wanting to be able to forgive others. We must be like God in this respect.
There is a difference between God’s love which is unconditional and his forgiveness which is! In Athens Paul declared that God “commandeth men that they should all everywhere repent” (Acts 17:30). On the day the church began on earth, Peter called on sinners listening to him to repent and to be baptized (Acts 2:38).
If God cannot forgive a man who will not repent, would he obligate me to do so? Of course not. If God cannot forgive a man who will not repent, am I even able to do so? No. Let me explain.
Consider this argument:
(1) If a penitent person is under divine obligation to bring forth fruit worthy of repentance, then a forgiving person is under divine obligation to bring forth fruit worthy of forgiving.
(2) A penitent person is under divine obligation to bring forth fruit worthy of repentance (Matt. 3:8; Rom. 6:20-23).
(3) Then, a forgiving person is under divine obligation to bring forth fruit worthy of forgiving.
Now, what does this mean? I raise the question again, “If someone sins against me, am I capable of actually forgiving that person without his showing any sign of remorse?” If I utter the words, “I forgive you,” what is the meaning of them, what is the intended effect, and what is the actual effect? I submit to you that I can declare them unknowingly, meaning to be accomplishing something, and yet the words can be, in effect, worthless.
Now notice, please, if a sinned against party says to the offender, “I forgive you,” and this without any remorse and without repentance, what would the fruit of his alleged declaration of “forgiveness” be?
(1) It would be counting the sinner as now completely innocent in his own mind and feelings;
(2) Since the sinner is now being counted as completely innocent in the mind of the sinned against party, nothing that the sinner can now do (including repenting!) can improve his standing with the one who has now allegedly forgiven him. The sinner is completely received/welcomed in the heart of the forgiving party.
But this is a seeming moral generosity that not even God has. God cannot forgive a man who will not repent! If you think that he will, find the passage that makes the offer. If God could save a man who will not repent, and if God wants to save all men, then God would save a man who will not repent. The fact that he will not save him proves that he cannot save him since he wants to save him! God wants to be able to forgive. This is what he always demands of his people today. Nothing more, nothing less.
Furthermore, when someone declares “forgiveness” to an impenitent party, it is unintentionally, then, indicating that God’s people are more forgiving than God is himself! What a glaring mistake.
Consider this: What if I declare “forgiveness” to a person who has sinned against me but who will not repent of his sin? And what if that person because of my attempt to forgive him now repents of his sin? Notice:
If his repentance alters his relationship with me so that now, even though I have already expressed “forgiveness” toward him, I feel better about him, what is this feeling?
(1) If it is increased actual approval, then it indicates that I knew (even though I told him that I forgave him), that he really needed to repent.
(2) If it is not increased actual approval, then it indicates that I am wrong in my understanding of the relationship between forgiveness and character so that my granting “forgiveness” is actually meaningless or morally worthless.
Let me say it this way: If I say to the impenitent who sinned against me, “You do not need to repent in order to please me,” I am saying that he pleases me while not repenting of his sin against me. This shows my own disconnect with moral reality (I fail to appreciate the relationship between repentance and character).
The mere utterance of the words, “I forgive you,” is not the equivalent of actually feeling the release or forgiveness in one’s own heart. It is, however, the erroneous concept that God wants his people to forgive the impenitent which drives his people, on occasion, to make the attempt. Since we wrongfully have concluded that we are under obligation to forgive the impenitent, we force ourselves to attempt to reach psychologically this state of complete acceptance of the impenitent as standing innocently in our eyes. And we may even persuade ourselves that we are doing it and have, thus, done our duty to God! This is sad and completely misguided. It is, after all, an attempt at the impossible.
Loving our enemies is an obligation and to pray for those who persecute us is as well (Matt. 5:44). The word for “love” is not the word for affection, however, which if used would constitute an impossibility. I cannot conjure up kind feelings for one who maliciously uses me or mine. I can seek his good, however, and I am told to do so. But God never imposed on his children the obligation to forgive the impenitent. He has imposed on us to be like him and, thus, always to be willing and wanting to forgive when we actually should and can.
Biblical Notes 